underneath all the issues and the insecurities, i’m still the same man you fell in love with. still the man that fell so completely head over heels for you before i even realized it. underneath all it all, i know you love me. i know i’m important and that i matter. look past the issues and insecurities and see my loving shining bright. never changing, never faltering, shining in the night to lead us back together
“Who said that love was fire?
I know that love is ash.
It is the thing which remains
When the fire is spent,
The holy essence of experience.”—Patience Worth, “Who Said That Love Was Fire?” (via brwnsknladi)
“My mom taught me one thing:
You don’t always have to tell people you love them. You just have to give them no reason to doubt it.”—irishjulienne’s, saying i love you is not a habit (via talkingoutsoft)
things are better now. last weekend was really rough. i went through my wifes old phone (she just reactivated her smart phone) and found some things that confirmed some suspicions and several other things that i didn’t even expect. so i sent her a ‘wtf is this shit’ text and all hell broke loose. she was crying and saying she was sorry and i was probably the angriest i’ve been in years ( i was literally shaking), she went on her trip with her friends and alex and i ended up having my parents take the boys for the weekend because i was an utter wreck. so i ended up buying a pack of smokes and a bunch of alcohol and trying to make myself forget about things for awhile (didn’t work).
so the next day, she calls me when she has service ( i hadn’t spoken to or texted her since the previous morning/early afternoon) and we tried to talk but i was too mad. then she sent me a really sweet post on facebook and that helped,
since last monday, things have been getting better. she’s been super sweet and affectionate. she tells me that she isn’t doing anything different but she really is. she tells me she loves me more (often without me having to say it first) she texts me more, uses pet names more and is a lot more flirty and sends me sweet texts. these are all things that she gradually cut back on doing over time.
i can tell she’s really trying and it means a lot to me. are things 100% better and my trust fully restored? no. but this helps. it shows me that she does care and wants this to work. granted i have some things that i need to work on, and believe me i am. but i think this might have been a turning point in our relationship. and if things keep going this way, i’m pretty sure everything will work out and be even better